The bad news for Manchester United fans is that their team is the most boring it has been in recent memory. The good news, according to the Sunday Mirror, is that the club will sign “at least one Galactico” in the summer. But the other bad news is that not many Galacticos would fancy joining the most boring United side in recent memory.
The Red Devils are determined to sign a player “who will be in the top 10 on the list to win the Ballon d’Or”, says the Mirror’s "high-level source”, and the club have apparently “drawn up a wish-list that includes Cristiano Ronaldo, Gareth Bale and Neymar”. But the clue is in the name “wish-list”.
There’s nothing to stop Port Vale making one of those and putting Messi and Pele on it; it doesn’t mean they’ll be moving to Vale Park. Louis van Gaal’s festive list looks similarly fanciful, unless Father Christmas drinks about 18 bottles of sherry in one sitting.
The Sun on Sunday do agree, however, that Van Gaal will be handed a £200m transfer kitty in the summer. The tabloid even claims that the Old Trafford hierarchy have been so impressed with the Dutchman’s ability to scrape goalless draws at home to West Ham that they would actually snub Pep Guardiola to keep LVG, given the choice. It also makes reference to United’s so called “list” of desired signings, throwing the names of Robert Lewandowski and Thomas Muller into the hat.
New Valencia manager Gary Neville is setting his sights in the transfer market somewhat lower, in global profile at least, with the Star on Sunday reporting that the rookie boss has urged the Spanish side to snap up Leicester goal machine Jamie Vardy. The paper explains that part of Neville’s role in Spain is to “advise Valencia on potential transfer targets in England”, so he’s picked the Premier League’s top scorer.
They could have employed an eight-year-old to do that.Arsenal are again being linked with attacking midfielders that they don’t especially need, with Paris Saint-Germain winger Lucas Moura reportedly wanted by Arsene Wenger. The Gunners could apparently offer “in excess of £30m” for the Brazilian, says the Metro.
Chelsea’s need for a new striker has become especially pressing since Jose Mourinho decided to stop playing any of his - a strategy that has coincided with the Blues failing to score any goals. The Mirror reports that Mourinho’s number one target for January is Antoine Griezmann, the £25m-rated Atletico Madrid forward. Let’s hope he’s keen to swap a La Liga title challenge for a Premier League relegation battle.
A similarly indecent proposal is being waved in front of Tottenham’s Andros Townsend, who the Sun reports will be the subject of a “£10m January raid” by struggling Newcastle.
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